Ch-ch-ch-changes

I wouldn't. But I sometimes imagine my life down the road, so different from where I am today: I'd leave him. And it would be a relief, after all the panic and fear and crying and grieving. Ultimately, it would be a relief because I'd have a chance to be me again, without someone controlling, telling me how to behave with my own friends. Robbie said I was slighting them. Said I should spend more time coddling. He does this all the time, makes suggestions "for the better," but all I really hear are suggestions for change. How can I be different? Why can't I just be me? He says asking this is an excuse. "It's lazy" he says when I say "it's just how I am." He says I don't have to be, that I can change, should want to change. But I don't. I know we all tend to resist change, especially when we're being asked to, when it's not coming from within. Defensive, in a word. But at a certain point, it's all I hear from him, and I begin to wonder: when is it valid? I mean we all want to be our authentic selves, true to who we are or are meant to be, and maybe the people who come into our lives are there to steer us in the right (or wrong) direction... and our reaction drives us North, to our truest point. When--does anyone have pointers?--should we take their word for it and try to change, even if we don't want to?